the stikas: November 2011

A Birth Story...

I got home from Primary Childrens with mom at 12am. I left Josh at the hospital with Clara in PICU. I packed for the hospital and exhausted from the crazy day and was actually able to sleep for a few hours. I woke at 5am (my scheduled induction was 6am) instead of showering I played/visited with Noah who woke with my puttering. I was grateful for those few moments to fill him in on Clara and ease his worries about everything. Mom and I drove to Jordan Valley Hospital got me settled and then I sent Mom to help Becky with the kids at home. It was odd being there in labor alone. Josh and I have a picture of us together on the way to the hospital for each of the other children,I missed that. I got a call from Josh just before they came in for the epideral where I could hear Clara calling and crying for mommy. It broke my heart. The tears just flowed for a while. The nurses and doctor new the situation and were extra kind to me. I called Mom, who was already trying to make her way back, to come. Lissy made her way to switch Josh and be at Clara's bedside. I felt much better with Mom and then Josh at my side. The updates of Clara were better and I felt lifted and watched over. I started making name lists boy and girl (Lucy Maude or Lucy Kate/Thomas Patrick or Benjamin August were topping the list). I had been slowly progressing all morning until the last hour before delivery I went from a 4 to 9. Three contractions later. HE was born. I think I saw first and shouted "boy". Then Josh gave a big cheer (he was so hoping for another son). Mom and Josh both said that the cord was wrapped around the neck twice. The delivery went well, and besides some extra numbed, I felt good too. There was a lot of quiet alone time at the hospital as well, that let me have some special time with my baby boy Stika. I let Josh make the official decision of the name and we wavered for a few days. This experience was one of the most difficult and faith building of my life. Even with a few weeks perspective I see how much our whole family was strengthened, boyd up by the prayers and service of so many. I also learned that as I wanted to be there for each child, there are times when I can let go and let others help, and the kids may even be better off for the experience.

My beautiful ben,
He is a delight. He sleeps. He eats. He snuggles. It's only been around 18 months since we had a newborn, yet it amazes me how little, fragile, soft they come. Ben's disposition is so sweet, I pray it continues. As much as you try to prepare siblings for the new arrival its not until their here that you see how it will go. Noah and Clara have been so loving, helpful, and interested. Rowan's ship has been rocked and although she can be very sweet with Ben, it's been a difficult adjustment that just needs some time. I still end most days feeling like I have not met all the needs of each member of the family but hopefully they feel loved.